I have just found out that one of my favorite bands will be playing in
Minneapolis soon. Since I have wanted to hear this band play for a
very long time, I am super excited.
Why am I telling you this? It's because I'm going and you are invited too!
I've prepared a handy FAQ for you.
FAQ
[1.1] Q. Who is the band? A. Bowling for Soup [1.2] Q. Where are the playing? A. The Quest Club -- The Quest Club [1.3] Q. When are they playing A. Tuesday February 1, 2005 [1.4] Q. What time will they play? A. It's not exactly clear. The doors open at 5:00, and there appear to be opening bands which I have never heard of. You can figure it out. [1.5] Q. I live in another city, why are you inviting me to this show? A. One word, "roadtrip!" [1.6] Q. I know Tim from LaserMaster, will worlds collide? A. Yes, it's just like the Seinfeld episode, sorry. [1.7] Q. I know Tim from VERITAS, will worlds collide? A. See 1.6. [1.8] Q. I don't know Tim, why is he sending me this email? A. So you can come see his favorite band. If you need more incentive than that see [1.12] [1.9] Q. Does the band have a web site? A. Yes [1.10] Q. Where can I find the website? A. Have you heard of google? Bowling for Soup [1.10.1] Q. 1.10 seemed a little rude, does it imply I'm not hip enough to enjoy this band? A. Maybe, you asked the question, not me. [1.11] Q. Their web site is annoying me by playing music at me. A. Can you re-phrase that in the form of a question? [1.12] Q. I've been out with Tim before and he tried to kiss me --- will it happen again? A. No comment. [1.13] Q. I've never heard of this band, where can I hear their music. A. I'll have the CD in my office, stop by and have a listen. If you can't get into my high security office building, you could download their music from the iTunes store, Napster, and the usual places on the net. If none of that works note 1.11. [1.14] Q. What does the show cost? A. It looks like they are $11.00, but there is probably a large ticket bastard "convenience fee" ticketmaster [1.15] Q. I am boycotting TicketBastard and ClearChannel, so how can I go to the show? A. While I admire your convictions and the way you "stick it to the man", think of the price of admission as a present to me rather than a tax you pay to mega-corps. If that doesn't work for you, try sneaking into the show or paying at the door. [1.16] Q. Has Tim ever seen this band live? What if they suck? A. No, I haven't seen them live. I've only heard their albums. If they suck, at least you'll be able to enjoy my company. [1.17] Q. I'm only 18 can I still go? A. It's an an all ages show. If you are less than 18 then 1.12 doesn't apply to you, I have standards. [1.17.1] Q. It's an all ages show. Does this mean that there will be a lot of teeny boppers moshing about? A. I'm really not an expert on the Twin Cities club scene, I don't really know what to say about this. I'm just hoping to see a good band. Just don't fall in love without checking for ID first. [1.18] Q. You sent this email to a lot of people. What if they all keep replying and it clogs up my office email? A. Sorry about that, the internet in general and email in particular are just fads, it'll die down eventually. Don't be surprised if a lot of this email addresses bounce, if you reply (and please don't), as it includes lots of people I haven't emailed in a long time. [1.19] Q. Who is most likely to respond to this FAQ with a wise-ass comment? A. Paul Jones, see 1.12 & 1.18 [1.20] Q. What if going out with Tim breaks a New Years Resolution? A. It was going to happen eventually, so just get over it. [1.21] Q. Can I forward this email to other people? A. How could I stop you? Please forward it to anyone you want. There are lots of ex-lasermaster folks who I have lost contact with since they got out of rehab. Invite whoever you like, spouses, significant others, whoever. [1.22] Q. Why is this invitation phrased in the form of a FAQ? A. If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand the answer, see 1.10.1.
