Me: February 2005 Archives

I am amazed by the minds ability to replay past events. In the course of an ordinary day, something someone says or does will bring me back seven or eight years, and I can relive an event as if it were happening today. The intensity fades over time but the emotional surge can still be quick and powerful as on the day the remembered event occurred.

The difference between the event and the remembered event is the framing and perspective offered by time. The remembered events benefit from the frame and perspective of interpretation informed both by hindsight and emotional maturity.

Maybe the gift in memory is that the wounds of the past turned out to have been pregnant with the possibilities of a future reality shaped and made possible only by the wounds we suffered. Do I then covet the wounds or glibly tell myself in the middle of crisis that "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger?" No, mostly I'm glad I lived to tell the tale, but I wish I didn't have such interesting stories.

I've been informed that at least one friend thinks I post some weird stuff and that it is very strange that people should share their thoughts on such personal subjects with such a wide audience.

Next week, I'll talk about my underwear, just for you, I promise.

Recently, I had a full body massage. This was a first for me. I had two shiatsu massages in a massage chair a few years back. Both of those previous experiences were negative for me; it felt like someone was poking me repeatedly. I didn't feel any better afterwards than I did before.

The massage I had most recently was awesome. It was initially a little odd as the masseuse was both my acquaintance and the close friend of my wife's. I got to Jean's house and she escorted me to a basement office, which was equipped with a professional massage table. I was instructed to disrobe to whatever level I felt comfortable, after she left the room, and then I was to lie under a sheet. That moment, where she gave me those instructions felt odd. This experience was 100% professional and therapeutic mind you, but having this conversation with someone who I have a much more formal (and non disrobing) relationship was disconcerting initially. I followed her instructions and waited.

She came back in the room and started in on my shoulders. It was fabulous. She is a relatively small woman, but I learned that she is very strong and gave all my muscles a thorough going over. I felt fabulous afterwards. I can't remember feeling as relaxed as I did after my massage that night.

Two weeks later, she sends me a thank you note. I got a thank you note for laying there and grunting like a happy pig. How fabulous is that?

I'll be going back for more guaranteed.